#2: Flaws Are Real. Perfection Is Fake.
About this Manifesto
When we obsessively focus on making things perfect and see flaws as negatives, we set ourselves up for disappointment and miss out on the unique beauty in all things.
#2: Flaws Are Real. Perfection Is Fake.
Flaws and imperfections, for the perfectionist, are things to be addressed, removed and/or prevented; usually at great cost of time, money, or energy—distracting us from living as our true selves.
Flaws are seen as dealbreakers, as unworthy of love or attention. Imperfections can become justifications for rejection, disownment, or even abuse. Perfection is held as the goal, and all pursuits, choices, and decisions seek this ideal.
Some things in life do require us to take note of flaws and imperfections, especially in high risk scenarios where impurities or even a speck of dust could ground or destroy a project (I’m thinking about sensitive scientific or technical projects here where labs and factories need to have low tolerances for impurities or mistakes).
When perfectionist thinking, judging, or perspective is or norm, we become trapped in an illusion that turns us against ourselves and the world around us.
We only see what’s perceived as wrong, broken, or flawed. Our expectations for life are consistently unmet. Life and our experiences fall short of our perfectionism, and we lose out on experiences, joy, connection and happiness.
Flaws Create the Beauty of Our Lived Experience
Looking closely at anything in our material realm, you’ll easily discover blemishes, flaws, or imperfections—especially when looking at organic things or handcrafted items.
When we embrace imperfection we embrace that item, person or experience’s true character, it’s uniqueness, and its fallibility. This not only allows us to connect with it on a deeper level, it allows us to embrace our own imperfections and love our delightfully messy selves… it even helps us embrace our own mortality which suffers from a profound disconnect in modern culture.
By truly appreciating and seeing every moment, material, and—especially—every person as a gemstone within time, we open our hearts and our minds to that thing’s truest essence. We no longer resent it for what it lacks or doesn’t measure up to.
When we leave perfectionism behind, we open ourselves to greater connection and happiness—both within and outside ourselves.
Break Free from Perfection’s Illusion and Start Appreciating and Embracing Imperfection
Embracing flaws and imperfections is a challenge when we’re constantly sold false, airbrushed, or photoshopped ideals of perfection.
Our bodies are sold as ugly or not enough. Our possessions are constantly depreciated with the latest “perfect” thing. We are told that more and more improvements will give us that ideal life.
When we lust after and buy products, treatments, diets, or strategies to “achieve” the illusion of perfection, we can get sucked into the illusion and lose our sense of self-esteem and can even harm ourselves physically and irreparably.
Everything, yes even those “perfect” things in labs and factories, have some level of imperfection: and that’s OKAY! It’s what is true, and the sooner we can acknowledge this the sooner we slip from the overculture’s pursuit of perfection.
One way I embrace imperfection and flaws is that when I’m noticing that I’m picking apart myself, my loved ones, or even strangers I ask myself, “What do I benefit from seeing flaws as negative things or, worse, excuses to not love and appreciate another?”
It’s not an instantaneous shift, but it’s getting better with practice. When I catch and shift into the observer state, I take those moments of rejection or dismissal and flip them around and examine them anew. I begin to explore that characteristic with deep appreciation and see it as a gift and a treasured experience of just one part of what makes them unique.
If doing this with yourself—or another human—is too much for you, practice on any object. A banana, a brick, a stone, or a pet.
Scan your thoughts as you consider the item. Do you have a prejudice of what a banana should look like? What about that brick or stone? Is there an ideal you carry inside? What about your pet? Is there something you long for it to be that it never will be?
Identify those ideals and return your focus to what is present in front of you: an object unique unto itself… something that will never be again. Cultivate appreciation for your mutual encounter with this small facet of this massive and mysterious universe. Embrace gratitude for its presence, what it has to offer, and it’s own worthiness in the great web of existence.
The more you practice questioning your assumed ideals and perfectionism, the easier it becomes to release yourself from perfectionism’s grip, and the closer you come to connecting with what is instead of what will never be.
Who Is Writing This?
Hey, I'm Tigre Pickett and I'm a recovering perfectionist.
I bought this domain in 2014 and sat on it for seven years before finally taking my own imperfect action and dove into sharing my experiences with perfection. How on brand!
It's my goal to provide others inspiration, guidance and support around befriending perfection by giving it other, more kind and accurate clothes and identities to wear.
I've sold myself short a lot in my life due to perfection's grip. May this website and my work provide you some glorious relief to just be with the messy, flawed, and totally lovable and worthy human you are.