#7: Excellence Is Real. Perfection Is Fantasy.
About this Manifesto
Pursuing perfectionism keeps you trapped in a fantasy world (and not the good kind). Perfectionism blinds you to the truth, the mess, the rawness and prevents you from achieving excellence…
Pursuing perfectionism traps you in fantasy and robs you of joy.
When perfectionism has its grip on us, it’s like we’re wearing metaverse goggles. We are immersed in a fantasy world, one that is entirely constructed and an illusion.
Yet, unlike a metaverse where it is possible to have positive experiences (along with some questionable ones), focusing on the fantasy world of perfectionism alienates you from real experiences. It also prevents you from embracing the healthy flip side of perfectionism: excellence.
Excellence is defined as “being the best; or having the quality of being really good or even outstanding.” It comes from years of practice, failures, and efforts. A life, pursuit, or craft worked to the state of excellence is only possible because it was lived in reality. It wasn’t dragged down by seeking or pursuing perfection, it was buoyed by dedication and desires to be better than you were the day before.
But why is living in fantasy wrong?
When we live in worlds of fantasy, we’re escaping. It is okay to dip our toes in fantasy with, say, a fiction novel, a movie, video game. But when we make fantasy the priority and the ultimate experience we deaden ourselves to our real, lived experience.
Pornography addiction is a prime example of how living in worlds of fantasy (and which is also heavily endowed with a focus on perfectionism) can lead to decay in our real lives. People who watch pornography on a regular basis are 2 to 3 times more likely to divorce their partners than those who do not watch porn. With pornography’s heavy focus on youth, sustained performance, penis size, surgically enhanced bodies, and airbrushed flawlessness, the real world experience of intimacy and sex may not compare. Self-esteem can take a big hit if you don’t measure up to the masculine or feminine archetypes chosen for porn. Attraction to your partner can diminish as the fantasy plays out in your mind.
The same happens with perfectionism.
When perfectionism is the prime focus in our world, we judge and criticize. Things don’t measure up so we discard or dismiss them.
If we release perfectionism and the fantasy world it conjures, and instead pursue an excellence that is fed by the knowledge that excellence only comes from making mistakes, practice, and honing ourselves and our skills then reality becomes our playground and we strive to do our best.
Who Is Writing This?
Hey, I'm Tigre Pickett and I'm a recovering perfectionist.
I bought this domain in 2014 and sat on it for seven years before finally taking my own imperfect action and dove into sharing my experiences with perfection. How on brand!
It's my goal to provide others inspiration, guidance and support around befriending perfection by giving it other, more kind and accurate clothes and identities to wear.
I've sold myself short a lot in my life due to perfection's grip. May this website and my work provide you some glorious relief to just be with the messy, flawed, and totally lovable and worthy human you are.